I can’t believe how time flies. As I mentioned in my post yesterday, David Michael is already over a week old (8 days to be exact). If you weren’t already aware, your hormones go crazy right after a birth as they are trying to readjust which means that Mike has had to deal with both a brand new baby and a new mom who can’t keep her eyes off of him and can’t stop sobbing!
No, it’s not postpartum depression, but the thought that every day that goes by means that my little baby is one day older really hit me hard. Fortunately, my sob fest is improving with each day!
Mike and I had a really great first week filled with MANY events. We’ve had non-stop visitors coming over to house since David’s arrival, we took a trip up to Lilongwe (4 hours north…unless you’re driving with a 3 day old then it takes MUCH longer), we made feet and a hand print (we could barely get the one let alone both hands…newborns clench their fists super tight) in salt dough, we gave David his first bath, we went to church for the first time, and we are beginning to establish a routine; for everyone.
While this has been a major adjustment for all involved, obviously, it’s been such a beautiful journey. Having a child makes you realize that for the first time in your life you don’t want the time to pass away quickly.
It was while we were giving David a bath that I thought: “I can’t wait until we go to the zoo together.” I began verbalizing my thought to Mike when I stopped myself. Actually, I can wait. I can wait for the future and enjoy the present. Believe it or not, I’m not even counting down the days until we go home anymore.
Having David really made me re-evaluate my thought process. It’s human nature to always be looking forward to something: “Only 10 more days ’til Christmas!” …. “5 more days until school’s out!” We’re conditioned to “Keep our eyes on the future,” but what about the present? If we wish these precious moments away…our baby’s tantrums, his sleepless nights, nursing constantly, that soon these things will no longer exist.
One day I’ll wake up and David won’t need to nurse anymore, he’ll be sleeping through the night every night, and he won’t need me in the capacity that he once did. Once those moments are gone, they’re gone. These are the thoughts that keep me up at night staring at David while he coos and whimpers.
It’s what keeps me sane when he cries for absolutely no reason or helps me to have patience when I have to change his diaper for the sixth time in one night. I pray constantly, that I am able to remain focused in the present and to enjoy my time with him and with Mike just as they are. I no longer want to rush into the future in any capacity; I want to live in the present and thank God for every moment I have with my beautiful family.