I’ve said this several times. But I STILL can’t believe how ill-prepared I am (present tense) when it comes to life after labour (excuse me, but sometimes the British spelling of words just comes out because of teaching). What got me today are my crazy hormone levels. Despite being 4+ weeks “postpartum”…I hate the word; reminds me of death? I have come to realize that when I least expect it, my hormones remind me that they are still incredibly out of whack.
What prompted this you ask? Well, I was getting ready to do my yoga when I saw a baby cockroach on the ground next to me. It never ceases to be true that once you feel at peace with the fact that your house is fairly roach-free one surfaces just to let you know who’s really ruling the roost. Needless to say, I killed it which made me feel a bit sad; keywords: “a bit.”
I started up my yoga video and began my breathing, but the entire time all I could think about was that tiny bug and how I had ended its life. I thought about how that bug was somebody’s child and was reminded of how finite our lives really are.
One of my favorite moments I have with David is when I pray over him. One prayer I pray consistently at night, before we go to bed is: “I pray that God is with you in your thoughts, words, and actions and may your guardian angel go before you in all things.” I make sure to make the sign of the cross too; as the more prayers the better.
It’s interesting how we want to give our children everything they could possibly ever need. But, have you ever thought about how most things we give and do in this life are temporary? Those Nike shoes they cried about for a week that all the other kids have, so you caved and bought them just to see them smile? Or being their pack leader so you can spend more time with them?
I’m not saying you shouldn’t spend time with your children or splurge on their wants rather than their needs once in awhile. But, what I can’t stop thinking about today is that the only thing I can leave my family with…and I’m talking not just Mike and my children, but our grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and their children are our prayers.
I pray not only for Mike and my relationship, but for David and his wife’s relationship (if he chooses to get married), and for their children’s relationships. I pray that their faith greatly outweighs my own and that they spend their lives serving the Lord. This is the only thing that I can leave with my family and the ones I love.
Have you ever heard that our faith can be lost in just one generation? I’m far from perfect, but knowing that I can leave lasting prayers for my family that will continue to live long after I am gone helped me to stop crying over the smashed cockroach, to say the least.
I am so thankful to be a child of God!